Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Crush U.

I have a dream, an impossible dream - due to restrictions by law and all that shit. I dream to be able to drive an armed tank, any model, then crush all vehicles in the following scenarios, by running over them again and again and again until satisfaction is achieved. Behold.


Vehicles blocking my path due to double or illegal parking.

Especially if I parked and paid in ALLOCATED parking box and return to find YOU blocking my way out! Worst if I had to sound my horn for 274839185 minutes before you finally notice, I will make sure you see my very tulan face. Sorry my ass, I pancitkan all your tyres say sorry can or not tiewz - so what if I did it on purpose, you also purposely park there block me what!

Or your double/illegally parked car caused a massive congestion in a particular stretch/area. It doesn't kill to be just a little more considerate and find a spot that's less crowded to park illegally - this one, leaving such a narrow path that Kancil want to drive pass also susah sikit. With the tank, I will make sure that this vehicle ends up in tiny bits, shreds and pieces.


Driving 50 km/h on a fast lane with an empty stretch ahead.

Will consider forgiving if vehicle moves aside when flashed with high beam else its crushing time. Really, I seriously need someone to tell me what's the problem with them, which part of RIGHT LANE = FAST LANE do they not understand? And also those driving in between lanes. Even if that stretch of road is named after your father or grandfather or great-grandfather or ancestor, it doesn't give you the rights to HOG IT.

I dare you to do the same while I chase you down with my tank. Move aside lah tiewz!


Forcefully cut into another lane.

Worst is, you know some highways with multiple lanes, for example Loke Yew? Then you see vehicles zooming past on your left and cutting in at the exit section in front where 4 lanes are narrowed down to 2 (Cheras roundabout in front of Taman Pertama) as a method to escape the on-going congestion? TULAN!

No amount of excuses given would be able to save their sorry asses from being crushed by the tank! Golek sampai hancur musnah nipis macam roti canai!

Also those that never bothered to use side mirrors or left-right indicators when shifting lanes mother I tear out your side mirror whack on your head rapidly want? Then only crush your car.

Or those ah beng drivers cut in left left right up down down up left - normally if small CC I kasi tiong one but like yesterday the other day it was a BMW 5 series cannot catch up at all sigh, I want a fast tank can? Then can tiong and crush them at the same time, double the satisfation.


Drivers without distance estimation stops car in middle of juction due to traffic lights in the middle of rush hour.

With a tank, its so convenient, just run over them end of story no need to tire yourself sounding the horn or flashing the high beam because they are the champion of the champions, being able to spread the "joy" of being stuck in congestion to others as well.


Other miscellaneous scenarios that deserves crushing.

Inclusive of - using the emergency lanes, not abiding the one-way rule especially in the parking areas of shopping malls, abusing the handicapped parking space, using fog lights in non-raining conditions, fake xeon headlights, faulty brake lights (all), stopping a far distance from the car in front during congestion with enough space to fit a Camry.


Will include more when I can think of it - suggestions welcomed. Wah, I can feel the suppressed anger trying to burst out from within me while typing this post.

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