Monday, January 16, 2006

really? s.o. h.o.w.?.

Was on my way for jogging with munyee (yes, I exercise so please close your widely streched opened jaw and continue terrorizing reading) and she asked me:

munyee: Feeling some difficulties sitting in my car? (she's driving a kelisa btw)
me: Erm, not really, why this question?
munyee: Cos I see you kinda like struggling with your socks...
me: Still ok lar...
munyee: How do you feel ah, being quite big sized? I mean sometimes I see you walking, have to dodge around?
me: Oi, look in front, got car coming... aaaahahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

(*added the last part to spice up my blog, hahaha)
addtional info: munyee is cute, so I gave her pink for her dialogue

Well, what she mentioned actually got me thinking a bit. How do I feel being fat big in size, which applies every part of my body *ahem*... For those who have not any idea about me, I stood at about 1.84m, weights a freaking 86kg and flattens everything in front of me(further questions will not be entertained). To some, it might just be normal, ideal or optimum but for me, it does cause some fcuking problems hiccups.

Take for example, public transportation, buses for instance. The reason tall ones dislike the rear area of the bus is because it is elevated (which I suppose the engine is located there). Along with you-know-how-bus-drivers-in-KL-navigate, try to imagine someone whacking your head repeatedly. At least you can shout profanities at the person whacking you, but if you literally fuck curse the bus, next thing you know, you might be staring at 4 white walls in Tanjung Rambutan (Tanjung Rambutan = asylum for mentally disturbed individuals).

Imagine master yoda in the bus:
master yoda: Angry, you must not be, child. Dark side, it will lead you too...
super jed-i: Master, you are so small, you will not...
master yoda: Silence! you must! Mention that I am short, you must not.
super jed-i: But you are shhh....
master yoda: Angry I am now. *draws lightsabre, jumped on chair...
*bus driver swerves right...
master yoda: aaahhhh!!! *crashes out of window...
super jed-i: mmmmaaassssstttteeeerrrrrr.....

Another supposed to be helpful item in the bus will be the handles, supports, whatever... which will usually be at proportional to my face. Unless I or others hold on to them, it'll proceed to vent its anger on me. One may curse it silently, but be reminded that any form of negative noise directed at this non-living thing might result you in Tanjung Rambutan.
Or be like me, pen down all your disatisfaction, and creatively shout your blog address out at whatever nuisance directed at you. This way, people get to know about it and indirectly increases your visitors.


Blast em all, blast em all... muahahhaa, more space... mmmooooorrreeeee....

Next, buildings. Low ceiling buildings, bad. Low ceiling buildings with decorations, worst. I practically have to dodge everywhere I walk, which occasionally reminds me of bullets dodging scenes in Matrix. Maybe I should imitate those moves, on second thought, maybe not. Walking in complexes nowadays, one may realize that there's a growing trend of placing stalls wherever possible (also signs showing owners reaping more and more money). Being not particularly high, I once knocked on one of these things before and maaaannnnn... it yanks the brain out of me... As if not embarassing enough, the decorations have to fall off... *speechless*

And finally, the errand boy. I dunno what's with it but I seem to get all the chores; its not like I mind doing them, but sometimes it justs comes at the wrong place at the wrong time. On the bright side, maybe I look dependable (Yeah right!).

Albeit all the disasters mentioned above, I'm happy with myself (physically and mentally). I am lucky to be born healthy and complete. I am also grateful to be born into a caring and lovely family, being raised and exposed healthily, and experiencing life fully.

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.
-Aristotle


Happy and contented...

So, all in all, I gave her one final answer:
"Why should I pity myself when I can pity everyone else"... muhahahahahaha
Well, by this time, I have finished struggling with my socks...


* * * *** * * *

Saturday night's out was spent with a close bunch of my secondary pals, for a meal and unplanned after meal activity. smashpOp was there as well (mentioned because he's a blogger, not because I have some special relations with him and no other particular, funny, irrelavent reasons as well...). Somehow, photographing seems to be banned on this outing, so, no pictures lor... :(

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

ahahahahahhah yala.... "jed don take ah !!" lol

Jed said...

yaler... summore kena threaten... *gulps*...

Anonymous said...

nice pics!

Jed said...

thx anonymous... (hhhmmm)