All I seem to be able to understand and digest from the whole goh dai lai thing is that I'm gonna lose a hell lots of money on this one - the very first time I heard of the amount that my parents were planning to propose a few months back, which according to them is the latest market rate, I almost dropped dead.
That time they proposed the amount to Jacklyn's family during the official "meet-up" - during the meal before the solemnization - I almost dropped dead, again.
And the night before I'm supposed to hand over this sum of money to Jac's family, I cried myself to sleep thinking of all the hard times I've been through for my savings - clubbing nights I've missed, the all new Nissan GT-R, all the latest gadgets and PC upgrades I refrained from buying, the trip to Japan I've been dreaming of, those car accessories thatcould've scored me some chiqs I've been longing for - sigh.
Anyway, on a more serious note, I really have no idea on the history as well as purpose behind this goh dai lai practice - from my own observation, its like a form of compensation to the bride's family for taking her away.
My parents glared so sharply at me that I swear I felt some pain that very instance - when I told them of the abovementioned opinion. According to them, its more like a gift of appreciation to the bride's family for having raised such a wonderful daughter and thus, our family being fortunate enough to have this wonderful daughter-in-law.
Lucky me.
Usually, the goh dai lai would be set about a week before the wedding day - but one still has the option to consult those Feng Shui masters or Sifoos or Mediums or the lunar calendar for an auspicious day, chinese being chinese. Other than the dowry HUHUHU, there's supposed to be loads of other items for this occasion as well such as bridal cakes, pair of male + female poultry, golden coconuts? wine, tobacco, sweets and sugar, fruits and loads of other unknown stuff.
Honestly, the tradition is dying fomr one generation to another - none of us were able to come up with the exact list of items required. The wiser (and older) generation when consulted, gave a similar response - haiyah, no need one lah so troublesome. Since they know best, we heed their advice and kept things simple yet meaningful - in total agreement of the bride's family. You happy, I happy, all happy - easy job.
So, what happened exactly on that day, in chronological order was - I arrived at Jac's house with my aunt (parents cannot follow) to deliver the goods - fruits, wine, liqour, some praying stuff, a piece of red cloth (to be hung above the entrance on the wedding day - kwa hung) and the dowry HUHUHU. Sat and chit-chatted while waiting for her dad which couldn't make it back in the end so exchanged gifts - received cakes, orange flavoured soft drinks - some how must be orange though I totally prefered Coke, fruits and some other stuff. Then went home for some praying plus ancestral offering session and went out for dinner with my family and aunt at night.
That's all gau tim settle close shop.
That time they proposed the amount to Jacklyn's family during the official "meet-up" - during the meal before the solemnization - I almost dropped dead, again.
And the night before I'm supposed to hand over this sum of money to Jac's family, I cried myself to sleep thinking of all the hard times I've been through for my savings - clubbing nights I've missed, the all new Nissan GT-R, all the latest gadgets and PC upgrades I refrained from buying, the trip to Japan I've been dreaming of, those car accessories that
Anyway, on a more serious note, I really have no idea on the history as well as purpose behind this goh dai lai practice - from my own observation, its like a form of compensation to the bride's family for taking her away.
My parents glared so sharply at me that I swear I felt some pain that very instance - when I told them of the abovementioned opinion. According to them, its more like a gift of appreciation to the bride's family for having raised such a wonderful daughter and thus, our family being fortunate enough to have this wonderful daughter-in-law.
Lucky me.
Usually, the goh dai lai would be set about a week before the wedding day - but one still has the option to consult those Feng Shui masters or Sifoos or Mediums or the lunar calendar for an auspicious day, chinese being chinese. Other than the dowry HUHUHU, there's supposed to be loads of other items for this occasion as well such as bridal cakes, pair of male + female poultry, golden coconuts? wine, tobacco, sweets and sugar, fruits and loads of other unknown stuff.
Honestly, the tradition is dying fomr one generation to another - none of us were able to come up with the exact list of items required. The wiser (and older) generation when consulted, gave a similar response - haiyah, no need one lah so troublesome. Since they know best, we heed their advice and kept things simple yet meaningful - in total agreement of the bride's family. You happy, I happy, all happy - easy job.
So, what happened exactly on that day, in chronological order was - I arrived at Jac's house with my aunt (parents cannot follow) to deliver the goods - fruits, wine, liqour, some praying stuff, a piece of red cloth (to be hung above the entrance on the wedding day - kwa hung) and the dowry HUHUHU. Sat and chit-chatted while waiting for her dad which couldn't make it back in the end so exchanged gifts - received cakes, orange flavoured soft drinks - some how must be orange though I totally prefered Coke, fruits and some other stuff. Then went home for some praying plus ancestral offering session and went out for dinner with my family and aunt at night.
That's all gau tim settle close shop.
A sneak peak - this was taken during the ancestral offering session - more to come when I find the time LOLs.
1 comments:
I came across your entry when searching for my OWN wedding 'offering' for the brides family. How much are we even talking about? I look everywhere on the net and nobody has a ballpark at all -- constrast this with tons of advice on how much to spend on the ring.
I understand if you don't think this should be public knowledge, but if you could toss me some advice or hints, that would be appreciated.
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