Story of Ning #15

I suppose this will be the final installment of baby Ning's recovery story.

As she was showing excellent progress, on MAY 18, we decided to discontinue the oxygen feed, ever so reluctantly due to varying concerns. And this decision was followed by long hours of 'monitoring' the monitor, and sleepless nights, especially for the wife, even after continuous reassurance from DC that her breathing is stable now. As days pass, there were times when we 'release' baby Ning from the sensor attachments to let her experience freedom of movement, which we eventually regretted because she start resisting us re-patching the sensor on her. Sigh.

Around end of May, we reduced dependency on the monitoring device and by early June, stopped utilizing the monitor totally as her breathing cycle and depth normalized. At this point, taking care of baby Ning became much, much, much easier as there's less restriction now. Everything, from feeding, to diaper and clothes change, to feeding felt more manageable, no longer having to worry getting her entangled in all the cables and hoses.

But the joy was short lived because around the same time, mother-in-law returned to her hometown (FIL 'bising' liao) and her absence was immediately felt as we had to manage housework on our own now, much more to do. And then, we received news that the wife's aunt volunteered and was travelling over to help out, as temp nanny. We were initially caught by surprised, and was slightly hesitant but eventually relented, thinking we would be able to learn some tips and tricks due to her vast experience in nanny work. 

However, her aunt's stay lasted only 2 weeks, as her coughs and phlegm were becoming unbearable for us, due to concern of baby Ning contracting it, and some other 'issues' in between. In a way, we felt bad for 'engineering' her return, as she was here on good will to ease our burden but baby Ning well-being will always be our top priority.

Seems that this chapter's finally nearing it's closure, as baby Ning's breathing has finally stabilized - verified by DC as well during routine checkups and immunization schedules, devices were returned to the medical company as well as the kindhearted vendor - and our room no longer looking like a makeshift ward. Last but not least, we initiated our search for a nanny considering the wife's extended maternity leave's coming to an end soon and all of us would require some sort of readjustments with these changes, as we also trialed on 'scheduling' her daily activities.

Looking back, these had been difficult times indeed, probably the most draining and exhausting (both mentally and physically) few months I've ever experienced to date. Unable to eat nor sleep well, with most time awake caring or worrying about baby Ning (and the wife), juggling work, family, parents (at one point, dad had to be sent to hospital midnight as he was coughing blood, and was eventually diagnosed with TB and infection) all part of the 'symptoms' being first time parents and all, you know - a first for and of many experiences.

Lost quite a bit of weight as well, couldn't even binge eat - my approach to release the stress. Even when I kept reminding myself to eat, rest and take good care of myself, the priority and focus would always shift to baby Ning - as she had no one else but myself and the wife to rely on for everything. Even during work, she kept appearing in my train of thoughts, shifting my focus to 'Worryland' - hope my boss doesn't come across this.    

Life is unpredictable, no matter how thorough you plan and prepare, something's just meant to be. You may cry all you want, get depressed, blame your self and eventually everyone around you, and maybe even question your faith but after all these outbursts, take a deep breath, get help, seek for advise and take one step at a time while supporting one another. I'm extremely grateful and thankful to our family members (especially the wife's who was with us throughout the whole ordeal), DC for her continuous support, advise and encouragement, all the nurses from both hospitals who cared deeply for baby Ning, A for helping us with the equipment, friends and colleagues for their advise and moral support.

And most importantly, to the wife, who had been through so much pain, anguish and despair these few months and yet, was extremely patient and cared for baby Ning the best you possibly could, to this point when baby Ning is a happy and healthy baby, stay strong, there are still many years of hardship to some *laughs* 

Well, there you go. End of this chapter, with many more stories of baby Ning to come - I honestly hope I can find time to update them here.

Her royal chubbiness, baby Ning