Story of Ning #4

Initially, the wife digested the news well, perhaps I unknowingly 'sugar coated' baby Ning's condition or the anesthetics had yet to wear off completely. Because during the later briefing by the pediatrician, the wife cried. Could be gender factor which resulted in a somewhat emotional session as the pediatrician became teary eyed as well, whilst consoling the wife. Or the privacy factor, as we've managed to finally secure a single room.

The rest of the day was spent shuffling around, to observe baby Ning's feeding, changing and sleeping from the nursery window, which is closed sometimes due to breastfeeding mothers, so viewing time is pretty precious. And ensuring the wife was as comfortable as possible during bed rest. Up to night time, there were not much changes to baby Ning's condition of rapid and irregular breathing pattern, and under close observation by nurses on duty.

But it was comforting to learn that besides the MAS condition, baby Ning was otherwise healthy, eating and shitting well.

Fast forward to the next afternoon, a significant occasion was unfolding as I accompanied the wife into the nursery where she was finally able to meet baby Ning, for the very first time after delivery. I held on tight, as I felt her legs weakening and tears started streaming down her cheeks. The reunion was beautiful yet heart wrenching, rather than being able to hold and cuddle the baby during their first meeting, the wife could only look at our baby girl, strapped to tubes, wires and monitors - it was 'deja vu' for myself. 'Tahan', I reminded myself over and over again, 'Stay strong'.

There was no good news for us. The pediatrician has decided to upgrade the respiratory equipment, from the already level increased oxygen treatment, to Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) therapy, as baby Ning was unable to maintain a positive level of blood oxygen saturation (SpO2).  And her syringe feeding will be changed from oral to tube instead, for the milk to reach her stomach directly, thus all her oxygen intake will be channeled to lungs for respiratory purposes.

Once more, the pediatrician reiterated that there's no cause for concern, as it's neither critical nor life threatening situation, just to reduce the effort required by the baby when breathing so her energy could be spent on feeding, bowel movement and etc. And the deterioration is still within expectation, since she's entering the critical inflammation period.

More tubes, attachments and observations later, we made our way back to the room. And the wife broke down in tears, her pent up despair since learning of baby Ning's condition finally released. I hugged her tight, consoling her to stop questioning and blaming herself, as both of us started sobbing uncontrollably - eventually interrupted by a nurse who came in to check on the wife's condition. Even with the presence of a stranger, it took a while for her to finally cool down.

Then, it was all good for a while. The pediatrician, OB-GYN, anesthetist, and family members visited, had an argument with my mother due to uncertainties, intolerable persistence and unreasonable requests. The wife made one or two more visits to the nursery, against advise, to spend time with baby Ning - no amount of effort could stop her from doing so, which is totally understandable. I myself spent hours just staring at baby Ning from the nursery window throughout the day. As day turn into night, that's when the real nightmare began.

It was late night when we were unexpectedly summoned to the nursery yet again, as a feeling of uneasiness enveloped me. There was a lot of commotion inside, both the pediatrician and OB-GYN and a couple of senior nurses were present.

'I'm afraid even the CPAP therapy is not sufficient and upon consulting with other specialist, we are of the same opinion that the baby should be strapped to a ventilator', she started. 'Unfortunately, this hospital is not equipped with such equipment, and since some time back, we've been reaching out to multiple government hospitals for transfer, to no avail. We are reaching the end of our search and the alternative now is to admit her into a private hospital. I have a close counterpart in one, and I am very positive we will be able to secure a spot for her there. But the concern now is on the costs, which I am sure you know will be hefty', she continued.

'I can keep trying until we secure a spot in a government hospital but I hope you can strongly consider the private option', as she looked at us, awaiting our decision. I took a few deep breaths, and inquired, 'How much and how long are we looking at, doctor?'. She pondered for a moment, 'Could be between a thousand plus to two thousand per night, for a couple of days, very much dependent on how well the baby adapt to her condition'.

I looked at the wife, her attention was fixated to baby Ning - it's a decision I'll have to make. 'Let's get her admitted to a private one then'. The pediatrician's face brightened a little, 'Good, let me make the arrangements'. Instructions were belted and people were on the move as we were told to head back to the room and await further instructions.

'It's gonna be one hell of a night', I told the wife as she could only nod weakly amidst the commotions.